It's Time

Journey’s come in many forms.

Today I began a journey.

For the biggest part of the last 42 years I have been a smoker.  Those of you that know me personally know that a few years back I did lay them down, and left them alone for about 2.5 years.  But then for whatever inexplicable reason, I picked them back up.  But it is time.

Last year, about mid-summer, I got sick.  It was what I believed was just a bad summer cold.  You know, a summer cold is one of the worst things a person can have.  And I had a difficult time shaking it.  So finally, after about two weeks of fighting it, I went to the doctor.

My doc never minces words; and she always gives it to me straight forward.  She started by reminding me that I was not 35 years old.  She drove the point home by telling me that I was also not 45 years old, and that I had to look backward to see 50.  She told me that it was time for me to slow down.

I was working a job that I really enjoyed.  I was back in the seat of a truck, but driving locally only.  Once in a while I might do a longer run, but those were few and far between.  I have always enjoyed driving.  I guess once it gets in your blood, it’s just something that stays forever.  But give me 550 horses and a ten-speed with a Georgia Overdrive and it is there that I find serenity and a certain level of happiness.  And if it happens to be a Pete…….even better.  Anyway, my days were long; I pushed DOT hours to the limit.  I did not complain.  But I was sick.

She made it clear to me.  I had to change what I was doing………. Or take care of my final business.  My choices were very clear.  She wanted to admit me to the hospital, but I have that hard-head that I’ve heard also runs through my blood, and I just wasn’t willing to be a patient in a hospital that was not going to provide something for me that I could not do for myself at home.  So she strongly suggested two weeks of bed rest.  She gave me the necessary paperwork for my job, and sent me on my way with an appointment to return in three days.  Of course, there were three prescriptions that I had to go pick up.

On my way to the pharmacy I called my job and told them that I would need to be out for the next 2 weeks.  I told them that I had a letter from my doc, but that I would bring it be on the next day as I just wanted to get home.  They said that was fine.

I got my meds and went home.

For the most part I slept the rest of that day and most of the night.  I’ll admit that on the very next day, initially I felt quite refreshed.  I got up, showered, dressed, had some breakfast, and went out to go by my job and take them the letter.  WOW, by the time I got to my job place, I was worn out.  The waking hours that I had known since leaving the docs office the day before was mostly the memory of hearing her words that I had to change what I was doing.  It was quickly becoming real to me what she had said.  Of course, after one day only, I still was not well, but it was like I suddenly came to the realization that what she had told me was in fact truth.  I did not actually stop at my job place I just decided to ride around for a while.

Over and over I considered her words.  I thought about where I was in life, those things that I still wanted to accomplish, how I was sitting financially, basically everything.

I knew that I could not just quit working.  I still had financial obligations.  But I also knew that again, what the doc had told me was truth.  I found a local park.  I stopped and got out and just sat on a bench.  I prayed, I meditated, I thought.  After a while I knew, and I just went back to my pick-up and drove to my job.

I took the letter and went to the GM’s office.  I handed him the letter and then told him that if he had a moment that I needed to talk to him.  He said sure.

I shared with him what the doc had told me.  I even laughed a bit as I told him and I added that she’s always telling me one thing or another and most of the time I could not tell you what she said as soon as the door was closed behind me.  But this time I told him, I knew that she was right.  I told him that I understood that our company does not owe me anything.  I expressed my gratitude for the opportunities that I had been given over the previous years.  But I told him I just could not continue to do what I was doing.  I told him that I now have two grand-daughters and that I would love to hear them say grandpa someday.  I told him that if there was not anything else there available for me that I understood, and he needed to tell me that.  I promised him that I would give him and work a reasonable notice as soon as I could return, but that would be what needed to happen.

Immediately he dismissed that notion and informed me that he had as a matter of fact a position that he wanted to offer me, however, the plant would not be ready for me to take that position until about October 1.  He explained to me what the position would be and asked if I would be interested.  I told him yes.  He then said that between the time that I returned to work and October that my schedule would be adjusted to work a max 10 hour day, but only 4 days per week, and off three consecutive days every week.  I accepted that, and on a hand-shake I left to begin my recovery that I needed at that time so desperately. 

At the end of my two weeks of rest my boss did call me and ask how I was doing.  I told him great.  He asked if I thought I do drive for a full day, if it was solely driving with zero other work. I assured him that I could.  He told me that we had a truck down in Tampa that needed to be picked up and driven back to Atlanta.  He wanted to fly down to Tampa, and then drive the truck back. I agreed to do that on what would have been my last day prior to returning to work.  I did fly down and bobtailed from Tampa to Atlanta.  A good 8-hour drive for me because if I felt tired I would just stop.  It worked out well.

The next day I returned to work.  The first few days were a little rough, but by the time I had worked four and was off three, I was feeling great.  I worked the 4 on / 3 off for about 5 weeks and then went on a planned vacation in Mid-September.

When I returned to work at the end of September everything had been changed and I was now in my new position…  Life is good.

Over the last several months I’ve had to go to the doctor on a few occasions for various reasons, none of them of any serious nature.  The doc has been very pleased with my general improvement, but has been relentless that I had to quit smoking.  Back about 4 months ago she gave me a prescription for Chantix, a stop smoking medication that is supposedly affective in assisting smokers to successfully quit.  I took the script to the pharmacy and asked them to hold it, that I was not sure when or if I wanted it. 

The only real problem that I still seem to have these days is that I get really winded very easily.  Prior to being sick last summer this is not something that I had experienced before.  But recently it just seemed to be getting worse.  The doc had given me an inhaler sort of thing last year that was quite helpful when I was so sick, and I still had that, so I found myself using it more and more.

Recently I realized that I was using the inhaler on a daily basis.  This became real to me when I went to have the prescription refilled.  I knew it was time.

A couple days later, I went and picked up the Chantix.

I read all the material, and I set a date.  I found a “coach” willing to help me, and shared with them what my reasonable goals are.  So I won’t be totally alone in this part of my own journey.

Today I started taking the medication.  My “quit” date will be on Tuesday June 18^th. 

I’m ready. I know it’s time.

To you my friends and followers I ask your prayers and thoughts.  By no means do I consider myself to be in poor health.  But I cannot honestly say that I am in the good health that I would have claimed even 18 months ago.  I don’t know how much things will improve, but I do believe that quitting smoking will improve my overall health as well as just how I feel on a daily basis.

But no matter, I will also never deny…………..

All these years, I enjoyed every one that I smoked.  Non smokers that have never smoked can’t possibly understand that.  Former smokers I suspect know exactly what I mean. 

But it is time.  Of this I am certain.

So I close one chapter in my life, and I start on a new journey.  I’m ready, and I’m excited.  I’ll be checking in just to let you know my progress……… I will win, I am certain.

Until next time………………..