I Was On My Way To The Store, But Ended Up At The Zoo

I Was On My Way To The Store, But Ended Up At The Zoo

Have you ever set out to go somewhere?  Or to do something, maybe even something very specific?  But regardless of your original intentions, you ended up somewhere else or perhaps not doing what you wanted to do at all.

I deal with that a lot.

“Write a book.” “Write a book.” “You really need to write a book.”  I get this encouragement often.  I’ve been told by a few people that I am a good story teller.  Recently, on a flight from Atlanta, Georgia to Norfolk, Virginia, I was talking to the fellow setting next to me.  As is often the case, I ended up talking about my childhood, growing up in the south, and one of my heroes, Lewis Grizzard.  I tell some of Lewis’ stories from time to time, always by the way making sure that the person to whom I am telling the story knows that I am repeating something that I either read from one of the many Lewis Grizzard books that I own, or something that I heard Lewis himself say at one of the few times I was fortunate enough to hear him speak.  I never take credit for his stories, but I do love repeating them.  Anyway, as we began to off-load from the plane once were arrived in Norfolk, the ladies setting behind us told me that they had never enjoyed a flight as much as they had that one because they found the stories I told from Mr. Grizzard so interesting plus my own stories from my childhood and my Navy days.  I was flattered, but a bit surprised that they had heard me. 

Just as I was about to step into the aisle, one of the ladies asked my name.  I told her Gary, and she said “Gary what?”  So I told her, “No, it’s Gary Fowler, not Gary what.”  She laughed and then said “well Mr. Fowler, I just wanted to know so that I know whose name to watch for as I am sure you are writing a book.  And if you’re not, well sir, you need to.”

I’ve told a few of you that I am trying to write a book.  And it was not a lie.  I have tried.  I’ll tell you, writing a book is one of the hardest things I’ve ever attempted to do.  I have an idea in my mind of what I want the book to be, but every time that I set down and try even to write a simple outline, I fail.  I just can’t seem to get it together.

I have done interviews.  I have put the time in, but when it’s time to write, I just sit here and stare at a blank computer screen and each and every time I come up with the exact same thing.

Nothing.

But what I have discovered is that if I just sit down and start writing.  The words just come.  Sometimes they flow, and sometimes they run over each other.  But if I just start writing the words just come.

So I’ve written several things now.  I go back and I read them, then I re-read them.  Sometimes I edit them slightly, but not much, and most of the time, not at all.  I will now and then see a better way of expressing a singular thought, but the point of the thought remains the same.  I simply change the sentence structure so that I hope the end result is better.

But basically, I just write.  I write about whatever it is that is on my mind.  And I’ve decided that this is exactly what I need to do………… just write.

A couple of the books that Lewis published were simple re-releases of some of his articles.  Some of his books are just random chapters of random things.  And they are always entertaining.

No, I’m not trying to be Lewis Grizzard, I could never do that.  But what I am going to continue to do is just to write.  And at some point in the future, maybe in another year, I’m gonna put several of these writing sessions together into chapters and I’m going to send it to a few publishers.  I expect zero results from this, but I’ll do it anyway.  And if it fails as I expect it to, I may consider self publishing online.  Who knows, I just might sell one or two. 

So that’s the explanation of the title of this blog, which coincidentally will be the title of the book…….

“I Was On My Way To The Store, But Ended Up At The Zoo”

Happy writing.  Happy reading.

It's Time

Journey’s come in many forms.

Today I began a journey.

For the biggest part of the last 42 years I have been a smoker.  Those of you that know me personally know that a few years back I did lay them down, and left them alone for about 2.5 years.  But then for whatever inexplicable reason, I picked them back up.  But it is time.

Last year, about mid-summer, I got sick.  It was what I believed was just a bad summer cold.  You know, a summer cold is one of the worst things a person can have.  And I had a difficult time shaking it.  So finally, after about two weeks of fighting it, I went to the doctor.

My doc never minces words; and she always gives it to me straight forward.  She started by reminding me that I was not 35 years old.  She drove the point home by telling me that I was also not 45 years old, and that I had to look backward to see 50.  She told me that it was time for me to slow down.

I was working a job that I really enjoyed.  I was back in the seat of a truck, but driving locally only.  Once in a while I might do a longer run, but those were few and far between.  I have always enjoyed driving.  I guess once it gets in your blood, it’s just something that stays forever.  But give me 550 horses and a ten-speed with a Georgia Overdrive and it is there that I find serenity and a certain level of happiness.  And if it happens to be a Pete…….even better.  Anyway, my days were long; I pushed DOT hours to the limit.  I did not complain.  But I was sick.

She made it clear to me.  I had to change what I was doing………. Or take care of my final business.  My choices were very clear.  She wanted to admit me to the hospital, but I have that hard-head that I’ve heard also runs through my blood, and I just wasn’t willing to be a patient in a hospital that was not going to provide something for me that I could not do for myself at home.  So she strongly suggested two weeks of bed rest.  She gave me the necessary paperwork for my job, and sent me on my way with an appointment to return in three days.  Of course, there were three prescriptions that I had to go pick up.

On my way to the pharmacy I called my job and told them that I would need to be out for the next 2 weeks.  I told them that I had a letter from my doc, but that I would bring it be on the next day as I just wanted to get home.  They said that was fine.

I got my meds and went home.

For the most part I slept the rest of that day and most of the night.  I’ll admit that on the very next day, initially I felt quite refreshed.  I got up, showered, dressed, had some breakfast, and went out to go by my job and take them the letter.  WOW, by the time I got to my job place, I was worn out.  The waking hours that I had known since leaving the docs office the day before was mostly the memory of hearing her words that I had to change what I was doing.  It was quickly becoming real to me what she had said.  Of course, after one day only, I still was not well, but it was like I suddenly came to the realization that what she had told me was in fact truth.  I did not actually stop at my job place I just decided to ride around for a while.

Over and over I considered her words.  I thought about where I was in life, those things that I still wanted to accomplish, how I was sitting financially, basically everything.

I knew that I could not just quit working.  I still had financial obligations.  But I also knew that again, what the doc had told me was truth.  I found a local park.  I stopped and got out and just sat on a bench.  I prayed, I meditated, I thought.  After a while I knew, and I just went back to my pick-up and drove to my job.

I took the letter and went to the GM’s office.  I handed him the letter and then told him that if he had a moment that I needed to talk to him.  He said sure.

I shared with him what the doc had told me.  I even laughed a bit as I told him and I added that she’s always telling me one thing or another and most of the time I could not tell you what she said as soon as the door was closed behind me.  But this time I told him, I knew that she was right.  I told him that I understood that our company does not owe me anything.  I expressed my gratitude for the opportunities that I had been given over the previous years.  But I told him I just could not continue to do what I was doing.  I told him that I now have two grand-daughters and that I would love to hear them say grandpa someday.  I told him that if there was not anything else there available for me that I understood, and he needed to tell me that.  I promised him that I would give him and work a reasonable notice as soon as I could return, but that would be what needed to happen.

Immediately he dismissed that notion and informed me that he had as a matter of fact a position that he wanted to offer me, however, the plant would not be ready for me to take that position until about October 1.  He explained to me what the position would be and asked if I would be interested.  I told him yes.  He then said that between the time that I returned to work and October that my schedule would be adjusted to work a max 10 hour day, but only 4 days per week, and off three consecutive days every week.  I accepted that, and on a hand-shake I left to begin my recovery that I needed at that time so desperately. 

At the end of my two weeks of rest my boss did call me and ask how I was doing.  I told him great.  He asked if I thought I do drive for a full day, if it was solely driving with zero other work. I assured him that I could.  He told me that we had a truck down in Tampa that needed to be picked up and driven back to Atlanta.  He wanted to fly down to Tampa, and then drive the truck back. I agreed to do that on what would have been my last day prior to returning to work.  I did fly down and bobtailed from Tampa to Atlanta.  A good 8-hour drive for me because if I felt tired I would just stop.  It worked out well.

The next day I returned to work.  The first few days were a little rough, but by the time I had worked four and was off three, I was feeling great.  I worked the 4 on / 3 off for about 5 weeks and then went on a planned vacation in Mid-September.

When I returned to work at the end of September everything had been changed and I was now in my new position…  Life is good.

Over the last several months I’ve had to go to the doctor on a few occasions for various reasons, none of them of any serious nature.  The doc has been very pleased with my general improvement, but has been relentless that I had to quit smoking.  Back about 4 months ago she gave me a prescription for Chantix, a stop smoking medication that is supposedly affective in assisting smokers to successfully quit.  I took the script to the pharmacy and asked them to hold it, that I was not sure when or if I wanted it. 

The only real problem that I still seem to have these days is that I get really winded very easily.  Prior to being sick last summer this is not something that I had experienced before.  But recently it just seemed to be getting worse.  The doc had given me an inhaler sort of thing last year that was quite helpful when I was so sick, and I still had that, so I found myself using it more and more.

Recently I realized that I was using the inhaler on a daily basis.  This became real to me when I went to have the prescription refilled.  I knew it was time.

A couple days later, I went and picked up the Chantix.

I read all the material, and I set a date.  I found a “coach” willing to help me, and shared with them what my reasonable goals are.  So I won’t be totally alone in this part of my own journey.

Today I started taking the medication.  My “quit” date will be on Tuesday June 18^th. 

I’m ready. I know it’s time.

To you my friends and followers I ask your prayers and thoughts.  By no means do I consider myself to be in poor health.  But I cannot honestly say that I am in the good health that I would have claimed even 18 months ago.  I don’t know how much things will improve, but I do believe that quitting smoking will improve my overall health as well as just how I feel on a daily basis.

But no matter, I will also never deny…………..

All these years, I enjoyed every one that I smoked.  Non smokers that have never smoked can’t possibly understand that.  Former smokers I suspect know exactly what I mean. 

But it is time.  Of this I am certain.

So I close one chapter in my life, and I start on a new journey.  I’m ready, and I’m excited.  I’ll be checking in just to let you know my progress……… I will win, I am certain.

Until next time………………..

Stand Up

Yep.  It's been a while.  I have not written here in some time, but today anyway, I'm changing that.  I hope to return here much more often.

I posted something on FB earlier today and thought I would somewhat explain myself.  My post on FB was that I was sitting in the waiting room at my Docs office and I was not happy.  I stated that I was in a foul mood, and even that I would rather be at work.  I closed by saying "And that ain't good".

A few months ago I started to have some problem with the medication that I was taking to control my blood pressure.  It is not unusual that if a person takes a maintenence medication daily that sometimes it will cause other problems with what they call liver function.  So Doctors often do monitor your liver function so as to make necessary changes if such a problem arises.  Well, my liver was all outta whack, so my Doc changed my medication.  I had been on the same medication for over 3 years, so it was not a suprise to me that it was time to change. 

As is typical, she gave me a few samples to try first, and a prescription to fill if I had no immediate problems with side effects, etc.  The prescription was of course only for a 30-day supply with no re-fills as she wanted me to come back in after a few weeks, take a quick blood test, and then make the decision whether or not to stay with this new medication or start over with something else.

Fortunately, I did not have any immediate problems with this new medication; no side effects.  So when I went back almost 4 weeks later.  I was happy, she was happy, everyone seemed to be happy with the results.  So she gave me another prescription, this time for a 30-day supply and one re-fill.  As is the normal practice (with my Doc anyway), she wanted me to come back one more time after two months just to make certain that everything was good.

So two months later I'm back again.  Everything looks good.  BP is well controlled.  No side effects.  So she was happy.  I was happy.  Everyone was happy.  She gave me a new prescription, again for a 30-day supply and I noticed only one re-fill.  I questioned her about that.  I said to her "only a two month supply?"  And she responded that she would give me a longer supply after she had done a complete physical.  She said that it had been too long since I had a complete physical, and once I did that she would prescribe a 6-month supply.  To that I said of my favorite things ...... "hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it....." to which she laughed and told me to have a good day.

I scheduled the physical.

A few weeks ago at work I was told that I had to go to a new program being sponsored by our insurance company.  It was a "health screening" where they would take my blood pressure, get my weight, height, and take a blood sample for cholesterold / sugar check.  My immediate response was that I did not care to participate, that my healthcare was something between me and my physician.  I was then told that if I refused to participate that my insurance premiums would be increased by $50 per month.  Being the very opinionated person that I am I commented that blackmail works when almost everything else fails. 

Under what could only be described as vocally against it, I did go to the heatlh screening.  After having walked uphill from one building to another, then up a flight of very steep stairs into the room where the screening was taking place, I was immediately told to remove my jacket so that they could take my blood pressure.  I asked if didn't they think i should be allowed to at least catch my breath before any blood pressure readings were taken.  The "nurse" taking the BP scoffed back at me that it would make no difference, just let her do her job so that I could get back to doing mine. 

I removed my jacket, she took my BP, and immediately informed me that I was "pre-hypertensive" because my BP was 126 / 83.  Being the good old fashioned jerk that I am, I told her that I was not interested in her opinion of my BP, that she should do her job so that I could get back to doing mine.

They got my height and weight, and absolutely tore my arm up getting blood, and I left. 

I considered what had just happened, and just was not happy about it.  I was mad that I had been manipulated into participating in something that not only did I have no desire to particapate in, but had a strong stated objection to particpating in.  And I decided that I would not do it again.  I did tell our General Manager that promoting good and healthy lifestyles did not nor should not include forcing an employee to "voluntarily" particapte in something the he or she objected to. 

A few days later I started to consider my last appointment with my personal physician, and the exchange I had with her regarding the two month supply that she was giving me on my BP medication.  I actually somewhat brewed on that for a couple of days, and thought about it some almost every day after that................

Well, today was the scheduled day for my physical.

So there I was, sitting in the waiting room, just waiting on them to call my name to do something that I had no desire to do simply because I felt like I was being manipulate to do it.  I had already decided on yesterday that before anything was started, that I was going to make known my feelings regarding this physical, and let her know that I did not appreciate the manner in which she manipulated me into scheduling this physical.  So yeah, I was in a foul mood.

I was there.  I had fasted since yesterday about 6 pm.  But I was not happy about being there.

A young lady came to the door and called my name.  I walked to the door and being very kind and gracious as they always are she asked me "how are you today?"  I responded that I was there.  Then she told me to step up onto the scales just on my right.  I did.  Then she instructed me in which direction to walk, to turn left at the corner, and then the second door on the right.  She followed me into the exam room, told me to have a seat.  I went ahead and removed my jacket, and sat down.  She commented to me, "so you are here for a physical today?"  I responded back, "we'll see."  She asked me if I had any current illments, to which I responded nothing physical.  Then she said, " you seem to be somewhat tense, is everything okay?"  I told her that I was fine, but had some concerns that I wished to discuss with the Doc.  Then she said okay, that I should remove my shirt and lay on the exam table so that she could first do an EKG.  This time I told her that I did not want anything done until I had first spoken with the Doc.  Again she asked if there was a problem.  This time I responded to her "I want to discuss it with the Doc."  So she said that if I was refusing to take the EKG, that she needed to put a reason why in my record so that the Doc would know before she comes in.  So I told her, "Okay, fair enough.  Why don't you put in there that I do not want to have any procedure until I have spoken with the Doc."  I very clearly said that I was not refusing anything, but I wanted first to speak with the Doc.  She made no entry, and just left.

A few moments later the Doc came in and asked if there was a problem.  I was honest with her.  I told her yes, to some degree there is a problem.

I pointed out to her that in all the years that I had been coming there it had never been necessary to manipulate me in order to do anything.  I told her that a good read of my medical record just from there would indicate such.  But I told her that I absolutely felt like that she had manipulated me in order to accomplish what she saw as a desired result, and that I didn't appreciate it. 

She asked me if I had scheduled the physical and was there only because she told me that she would write prescriptions for longer refills if I got a physcial.  My answer to her was that yes, that was exactly why that I was there, that she did not give me an "if" scenario, but that she would give me more refills after I had gotten a complete physical.  Then she asked me if I I did not want to get a physical.  I answered honestly.  "No.  Not at this time."   But I also pointed out to her that I fully understand the need for close monitoring of certain things that can only be monitored with blood work, and that if she felt I needed blood work that in fact I was fasting, and that today would be a good day for it, and that I had no objections to her doing any blood work.

She then apologized.

She told me that she never intended to manipulate anything, but she did concede that she understood my feelings, that she herself would probably feel the same way if the roles were reversed.  I accepted her apology.  She didn't tell me that If I had objected a couple months ago that she would have written a longer prescription, but she did write a six month supply today.

I did not have the physical.  I did have blood drawn.

And for those interested, my BP was 121 / 78. 

I know it may sound silly.  But YOU are your greatest advocate.  When you are not comfortable with what is being said to you, if you don't understand, it really is okay to just say "hold on, wait a minute, I don't understand."  I believe it's even okay to ask someone if they are attempting to manipulate you to do something that perhaps you don't wish to do.  But it is up to you to stand up.  Especially when it comes to your healthcare.  Obama may want to control what you do and don't do........but I say screw Obama.  NO one knows you like you know you.  And no one knows me like I know me.

I may be wrong, I may be right.  But it is my choice, my decision. 

I know I need a physical.  And pretty soon, I'll probably get one.  But not now. 

..........Till next time, and I hope much sooner...........

G