Hater's

I’m one of those “haters” everyone wants to talk about today.  I am happy that Mark Richt is no longer with UGA.  Whether he was fired or he resigned I do not care, I’m just glad he’s gone.  I’ve not been a fan from the beginning and I’ll admit to that.  I have read with interest comments from others today and a common thread connecting many of them is that we can now expect ten years of mediocrity.  I laugh that someone would say that.  All that I have to do to find mediocrity is look behind me.  The last championship season that UGA football had was in 2005.  And that was the year that Bobo started doing the play calling, so he gets the credit for that one.  So be mad at me if you want, but the numbers do not lie. 

-          2008:  Season overall 10-3.  SEC 6-2.  They finished 2^nd in the East. 

-          2009:  Season overall 8-5.  SEC 4-4.  They finished 2^nd in the East.

-          2010:  Season overall 6-7.  SEC 3-5.  They finished 3^rd in the East.

-          2011:  Season overall 10-4.  SEC 7-1.  They finished 1^st in the East, but lost the SEC Championship to LSU 42-10.

-          2012:  Season overall 12-2.  SEC 7-1.  They finished 1^st in the East, but lost the SEC Championship to Alabama 32-28.  And for the record, that game was lost 100% due to poor coaching.  Nothing else to say about that.

-          2013:  Season overall 8-5.  SEC 5-3.  They finished 3^rd in the East. 

-          2014:  Season overall 10-3.  SEC 6-2.  The finished 2^nd in the East.

-          2015:  Season overall 9-3.  SEC 5-3.  I’m not 100% clear on their standing in the East, they are either tied for 2^nd or firmly in 3^rd place.

Again numbers do not lie.  If you are concerned with mediocrity, there’s your mediocrity.  And Prior to 2008 with the exception of 2005 it is no different, just more of the same.  So in my mind we’re looking at 15 years with one Championship season, 2005 and no more.  If you want to look at these 8 seasons and pick out the best of those, one would tend to migrate to the 2012 season at 12-2.  And true enough that is an 85.7% winning percentage.  Is that good enough?  If we were talking about a basketball team winning 85.7% of the time I would say is pretty good.  But we are not talking about a basketball team.  We’re talking football.  And in college football today to be successful a team needs to be as close to undefeated as possible; either being undefeated or loosing no more than 1 game.  Once a team looses a second game there’s just too many teams out there that finish with only one loss, having two loses will prevent you from being in contention for championship consideration.  So to answer my own question, is 12-2 good enough?  No, it is not.  But in 8 seasons that is as good as Mark Richt could give us.  Yeah, it’s time for him to go…………. Overdue I would say.  I encouraged his firing in 2013, again in 2014.  So yes, I had encouraged his firing already in 2015.

I wish him well.  I absolutely believe he is a good man, a good Christian man.  He’s just not a good coach.  I give him credit when due.  I understand he has the winningest record over the course of his tenure at UGA, and I congratulate him for that.  But I point out again it has been good, just not good enough.  I wish him well.  I fully expect him to be hired this year and potentially coach against the Dawgs next year.  I’m okay with that too. 

I much prefer to focus on the positive and there is plenty of positive to focus on.  I hope that the young men that have committed to UGA will still honor their commitment, and I’m excited that if the right coach can be found that we can begin now to build on what we already have and have a team in contention next year.  I believe it’s possible.  Good days are ahead folks.  I believe.  Yes oh yes I do.

I do solemnly swear.

I was thinking today about the number of times that I raised my hand and repeated the oath of enlistment into The United States Navy.  Four times total I raised my hand and swore the oath

"I, Gary Fowler, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

Each time that I swore this oath I had a deep feeling of patriotic pride.  And never once did I take lightly just exactly what I was doing.  Every man and woman that joins the United States Military must take this oath.  Sometimes, although rarely, after a young man or woman takes this oath and begins their training they come to the realization that their personal convictions are actually very counter to what it is exactly that we may at some point have to do.  While it is true that as a fighting man or woman in the United States Military we all may have our specific job, (the military, just like everything else in life is very specialized now), the simple truth is that when all of our jobs are combined they form into a very well oiled machine, truly a force to be reckoned with.  So once in a great while a young man or young woman will realize that in fact they are what is termed a “conscientious objector”.  Or in other words they cannot fathom taking the life of another person under any circumstance.  These individuals will be examined by numerous psychologists and psychiatrists.  They will interview with military Chaplains.  They will go before a board of multiple senior military officers and be questioned and given numerous scenarios under which they are asked “what would you do if……”.  The “if” here often includes things like what if your mother, or daughter, or wife, or sister were being raped and beaten and you were the first person on sight and could actually end it simply with the shot of a rifle, what would you do?  They are often tricked and possibly confused.  But it is in those moments that the real individual and his true core will be seen.  If he or she is truly a conscientious objector it will be seen.  He or she will be allowed to leave the military still under honorable conditions.  These people are often criticized by others in the military and those that were never in the military.  But me, I actually salute them.  They stand by their convictions.  Which brings me to this county clerk in Ashland, Kentucky.

I understand where she is coming from.  To her, marriage is between one man and one woman.  I get it.  Totally.  Really, I do.  She says that she just can’t issue marriage licenses to gay couples, that it totally goes against her convictions.  I 100% support her right to have those convictions.  But it is there that I draw the line.

She is an elected official.  After she won her position in an open election I am almost certain that she took an oath.  While I do not know the oath that she likely took, I am confident that it was about serving the citizens of and upholding the laws of her county.  She does not get to choose which laws she upholds.  She does not get to force her convictions on the people of that county.  No, she must uphold all of the laws.  She must perform the job to which the people of that county elected her to do.  And I get it that perhaps a large portion of that county prescribes to and supports her convictions regarding this matter.  But that also is not part of the equation.  It is the law of the land.  Period.  She must perform her job.  As witnessed today her options were to perform her job or be held in contempt of court.  She sits in jail now upholding her convictions.  The judge in this matter I suspect will find a way for those licenses to be issued.  He will uphold the law.

I know that some of you may be sitting there shaking your head in disbelief that I could take this position.  My only comment to you is that if you really knew me, you would know that this is exactly the position that I would take.  And my question to you is why do you also not take this position.  Let me tell you the precedence that her actions could set.  Let me explain to you the can of worms that could be opened by allowing her to operate under her convictions versus the law of the land. 

If she is allowed to operate under her convictions what is to prevent a person, any person that holds religious beliefs so counter to our Christian/Judeo belief system that we would find them to be repulsive from seeking and perhaps getting elected to local office.  And then operating that office built on the convictions of their beliefs.  Simply put, would you want a truly deeply convicted Muslim holding office and suddenly operating that office under the guise of Sharia Law?

I suspect not.

I do realize what I just said.  So to my Muslim friends please read the whole of what I said.  I don’t apologize for what I said, but please don’t misquote me on this matter.  If you want to quote me, quote all of me, not just part. 

We do not support Sharia Law.  Sharia Law is not the law of this land.  But if this clerk is allowed to operate under her convictions versus upholding the law of the land this sets the precedence for what I just described to happen.  And then where is your support going to be?  Is this what you want?  Is this the direction that you think our great nation should take?  Again, I suspect not.  Our nation is great because of our constitution.  Yes it is true, or at least I believe it is true, that our nation and our laws were built on the foundation of Judeo / Christian beliefs.  Still, the first amendment to the constitution was written, passed, and ratified to prevent religious tyranny. 

So that I am understood I will repeat again what I have said here once already.  I absolutely, 100% support this county clerks right to hold the convictions that she has.  But she also has an obligation to perform the duties of the office for which she was elected.  I understand that at the time that she was elected same sex marriage was not legal across our land.  But now it is.  She doesn’t have to like it.  YOU do not have to like it.  But it is the law of the land.  If you don’t like it, then get it changed, but do so legally, within the confines of the law, and do it as the Christian that you say you are, which by the way includes that whole Judge not that ye be not judged thing.  It is not my job to pass judgment on anyone for any reason.  I was taught and try to practice love as taught and shown by my Savior, The Lord Jesus Christ.  He sat and ate with the tax collectors.  He showed love and forgiveness to the woman at the well.  He ordered an entire village “He without sin cast the first stone”.  Personally, I do not qualify to cast the first stone.

It is my job to show Christian love.  If judgment is called for that judgment belongs to God the Father.  The clerk in Kentucky simply needs to do her job.  She does have a choice.  She can choose to stand on her convictions.  But if this is what she chooses, she simply needs to resign her position stating that the requirements of the job goes so harshly against her personal convictions that she cannot properly perform the duties of the job.  There is no shame there.  In such a move is seen both humbleness and it boldly proclaims where she stands and to what distance she is willing to go to stand on her convictions.  But refusing to perform the job that she was elected to do.  This is not noble, nor is it right.  It is however illegal, and for that tonight she sits in jail.

I wish her luck.  I pray for her.

I Knew A Man

I knew a man.

And then there were two boys.

And what a tale they could tell.

Death is never easy, it really doesn’t matter who you are.  If someone that you know dies it is not important whether or not they were family, it was someone that you knew and now……….. they are gone.

Yes, someone died.  And yes, it was hard.  Yes, it was sad.  But harsh as it may sound the reality is that life goes on.  And it does.  So I don’t want to make this about death, I much prefer to make it about life, and the wonderful gift we are given, living.

That man?  His name was, or is for that matter, Wayne “Peabody” Hillhouse.  Wayne was born in 1941 to a loving home.  His family was a “nickname” family.  And what I mean is that everyone in his family has nicknames.  And everybody that knows them only refer to them by their nickname.  His dad Bubba Hillhouse and his mom Sis Hillhouse. 

Those two boys?  Well, let’s just say that one of them lives every day of his life with his own struggles, but he deals with it in his own way, mostly by writing.  The other, was the younger brother to the first.  These two rambunctious, sometimes mischievous boys were blessed to be born into a large family by most people’s standards.  Certainly they were blessed to be born into a family filled with love, from the grandparents down to their mom and dad, and their other two brothers and two sisters.  Yep, these two boys were blessed each to have two older sisters plus two older brothers.  Growing up the family was poor.  But these two never knew it.  Their bellies were full every night when they went to bed, and they had clean clothes every morning when they woke up.  No, these two knuckle heads had no idea what poor even meant.

They had an older sister that became a nurse.  She was like a second momma to them, and affectionately they often called her Momma Joan.  To this day, they still do.  Upon high school graduation Joan went off to Nursing School at Georgia Baptist School of Nursing way downtown in that huge city called Atlanta.  When these two boys were just boys Atlanta was a world away from their country farm just outside of Canton, GA where they grew up.  Joan did well in school and in just a few years she finished and began work almost immediately ending up at Kennestone Hospital where she worked until her retirement a few years ago. 

I can’t remember exactly the date, but somewhere in the mid 1960’s Joan met this man, Peabody, and they dated.  They fell in love.  And they married. 

But back up just a bit.

During that dating time, Joan brought Wayne home to meet her parents and the rest of the family of course, including those two rambunctious mischievous boys.  That was quite a sight to see I am certain.  Here’s this fine upstanding young man that grew up in a family as an only child.   He was I am sure accustomed to a very ordered, very calm, very quiet life at home.  Well, not in this house.  Oh no.  These two boys fit that old saying that they’d drive the preacher to drinking.  They were wilder than a wildcat, noisier than a bunch of dogs fighting, and fit perfectly that old saying, like a bull in a china shop…..except there were two bulls.  Imagine what must have been going through this young man’s mind to be witness to such apparent craziness.  He had I’m sure never seen anything quite like it.  But, he never said a word, never complained, never questioned anything.  He just stared, and somewhat smiled.  But the amazing part………  He came back.

Yes, after that first time Joan took a chance and brought him back to her house a second time.  This time, he surprised everyone; he actually got down in the floor with those two wild boys and started playing with them.  He never had a chance really, they attacked him of course.  But smiling and laughing with them, he let them pin him down on his back so that they could say that they won.  What a guy huh?

I’m 57 years old now.  I was probably 7 or 8 years old then.  But I’ve never forgotten it, and I hope I never will.  He made quite the impression on those two little boys.  And at that moment I think, he became part of our family.  It seems we couldn’t scare him off, so he just joined right in. 

I am Gary Fowler, the other little boy is my brother Gene Fowler, and from that day forward Wayne became more and more a part of our life and a part of our family.  He was or is my brother-in-law, but he was as far as I was concerned like a brother.

When I was 18 years old during a revival at Holly Springs Baptist Church on one night of the services after praying about it, I testified that I wanted to share my calling of the Lord.  At that time there were other things happening around me, and I did believe that I was called.  It was a few years later that I began to have many doubts as to just what my calling was, or if it was for that matter.  Of my salvation I have no doubt.  Of my calling I just wasn’t sure anymore.  On those times that I stood and tried to present a message from the Bible, I struggled mightily.  I just never was able to really put together a sermon of any real substance.  Just ask anyone that ever sat though one of my “sermons”, they will tell you.  And it’s okay, I know it was hard.  It was very difficult for me.  It was during that time that I felt like I needed to talk to someone, to seek counsel from someone wiser than me, someone that might be able to help me sort everything out.  And I did.  I went to a pastor friend of mine.  He told me, and I believe he was earnest about it, that the problem was that I was just not trusting God enough.  That I just wasn’t praying enough.  That I needed to pray and I needed to trust God to lead me. With everything that is within my being, I believed that I was doing that.  But I knew something wasn’t right.

What I’m about to share with you I’ve never told anyone.  But one day I went by my sister’s house, and she wasn’t at home.  But Wayne was there.  I’m not sure why, but I had a very strong feeling that I needed to just tell someone what was going on in my life and how unsure of everything that I was.  And at that moment the only someone available to me was Wayne.  So I just started talking.  He looked at me straight up; he gave me his total undivided attention.  I could tell that he was listening.  And when I was finished I finally said, “I just don’t know what to do.”

Wayne looked at me and gave me the only advice that he ever volunteered.  He said to me “Gary, nobody knows what’s right for you but you.  You can’t listen to other people telling you what you are supposed to be.  You’ve got to listen to you and what you are telling you that you are supposed to be.  ‘Cause that voice that you hear, that’s God.  He’s telling you, you just need to listen.”

You know I did that.  And it was not long that I knew, it wasn’t preaching that I was supposed to be doing.  Not at all.  My work was in sharing the gospel through song.  And I began to listen to God, and God began to open doors.  And for many years many doors were opened and I had the privilege to share the Good News of The Gospel of Jesus Christ through music. 

After a few years another door was opened to me, I began to teach.  Over the years I’ve taught many young people, and older people too for that matter.  And of the young people that I taught and coached musically, a few of them now are in full time professional music careers.  There’s a few that like me share the Gospel through song.

Now you almost have to ask the question; “Would any of that have ever come to pass if you had not sought counsel from Wayne?”  And the answer is, I don’t know, I simply don’t know.  But what I do know is that I did decide to share my heart with Wayne, and I listened to what he told me.  And I know how things worked out.  But would any of that happened had I not been there at that time on that day?  I sincerely just don’t know.  But I do know this.  His advice that day changed me.  It made me a better man, a better person, and ultimately, a better Christian.  So I’m thankful that I did open up to him that day, and I give all the glory to God.

On the morning of February 10, 2015 the Lord called Wayne to come home.  It was sudden and unexpected.  Yes, it was sad.  And on February 12^th, those two little boys, now grown men, walked with their Momma Joan, and their other sister Cheryl and brother Eddie.  And as a family Joan laid her husband and our Brother to rest. 

To those that are reading this I want to thank you for allowing me to share.  And if I can, I want to encourage you as Wayne encouraged me that day; nobody knows you better than you know you.  When you hear that voice inside you directing you, pulling you, encouraging you to go a certain direction.  You know what’s right for you, listen close.  If it’s God you will know his voice.  Trust him and live your life as you know God wants you to.

Thanks Wayne, I won’t say bye, just I’ll see you in a little bit.

I Was On My Way To The Store, But Ended Up At The Zoo

I Was On My Way To The Store, But Ended Up At The Zoo

Have you ever set out to go somewhere?  Or to do something, maybe even something very specific?  But regardless of your original intentions, you ended up somewhere else or perhaps not doing what you wanted to do at all.

I deal with that a lot.

“Write a book.” “Write a book.” “You really need to write a book.”  I get this encouragement often.  I’ve been told by a few people that I am a good story teller.  Recently, on a flight from Atlanta, Georgia to Norfolk, Virginia, I was talking to the fellow setting next to me.  As is often the case, I ended up talking about my childhood, growing up in the south, and one of my heroes, Lewis Grizzard.  I tell some of Lewis’ stories from time to time, always by the way making sure that the person to whom I am telling the story knows that I am repeating something that I either read from one of the many Lewis Grizzard books that I own, or something that I heard Lewis himself say at one of the few times I was fortunate enough to hear him speak.  I never take credit for his stories, but I do love repeating them.  Anyway, as we began to off-load from the plane once were arrived in Norfolk, the ladies setting behind us told me that they had never enjoyed a flight as much as they had that one because they found the stories I told from Mr. Grizzard so interesting plus my own stories from my childhood and my Navy days.  I was flattered, but a bit surprised that they had heard me. 

Just as I was about to step into the aisle, one of the ladies asked my name.  I told her Gary, and she said “Gary what?”  So I told her, “No, it’s Gary Fowler, not Gary what.”  She laughed and then said “well Mr. Fowler, I just wanted to know so that I know whose name to watch for as I am sure you are writing a book.  And if you’re not, well sir, you need to.”

I’ve told a few of you that I am trying to write a book.  And it was not a lie.  I have tried.  I’ll tell you, writing a book is one of the hardest things I’ve ever attempted to do.  I have an idea in my mind of what I want the book to be, but every time that I set down and try even to write a simple outline, I fail.  I just can’t seem to get it together.

I have done interviews.  I have put the time in, but when it’s time to write, I just sit here and stare at a blank computer screen and each and every time I come up with the exact same thing.

Nothing.

But what I have discovered is that if I just sit down and start writing.  The words just come.  Sometimes they flow, and sometimes they run over each other.  But if I just start writing the words just come.

So I’ve written several things now.  I go back and I read them, then I re-read them.  Sometimes I edit them slightly, but not much, and most of the time, not at all.  I will now and then see a better way of expressing a singular thought, but the point of the thought remains the same.  I simply change the sentence structure so that I hope the end result is better.

But basically, I just write.  I write about whatever it is that is on my mind.  And I’ve decided that this is exactly what I need to do………… just write.

A couple of the books that Lewis published were simple re-releases of some of his articles.  Some of his books are just random chapters of random things.  And they are always entertaining.

No, I’m not trying to be Lewis Grizzard, I could never do that.  But what I am going to continue to do is just to write.  And at some point in the future, maybe in another year, I’m gonna put several of these writing sessions together into chapters and I’m going to send it to a few publishers.  I expect zero results from this, but I’ll do it anyway.  And if it fails as I expect it to, I may consider self publishing online.  Who knows, I just might sell one or two. 

So that’s the explanation of the title of this blog, which coincidentally will be the title of the book…….

“I Was On My Way To The Store, But Ended Up At The Zoo”

Happy writing.  Happy reading.

It's Time

Journey’s come in many forms.

Today I began a journey.

For the biggest part of the last 42 years I have been a smoker.  Those of you that know me personally know that a few years back I did lay them down, and left them alone for about 2.5 years.  But then for whatever inexplicable reason, I picked them back up.  But it is time.

Last year, about mid-summer, I got sick.  It was what I believed was just a bad summer cold.  You know, a summer cold is one of the worst things a person can have.  And I had a difficult time shaking it.  So finally, after about two weeks of fighting it, I went to the doctor.

My doc never minces words; and she always gives it to me straight forward.  She started by reminding me that I was not 35 years old.  She drove the point home by telling me that I was also not 45 years old, and that I had to look backward to see 50.  She told me that it was time for me to slow down.

I was working a job that I really enjoyed.  I was back in the seat of a truck, but driving locally only.  Once in a while I might do a longer run, but those were few and far between.  I have always enjoyed driving.  I guess once it gets in your blood, it’s just something that stays forever.  But give me 550 horses and a ten-speed with a Georgia Overdrive and it is there that I find serenity and a certain level of happiness.  And if it happens to be a Pete…….even better.  Anyway, my days were long; I pushed DOT hours to the limit.  I did not complain.  But I was sick.

She made it clear to me.  I had to change what I was doing………. Or take care of my final business.  My choices were very clear.  She wanted to admit me to the hospital, but I have that hard-head that I’ve heard also runs through my blood, and I just wasn’t willing to be a patient in a hospital that was not going to provide something for me that I could not do for myself at home.  So she strongly suggested two weeks of bed rest.  She gave me the necessary paperwork for my job, and sent me on my way with an appointment to return in three days.  Of course, there were three prescriptions that I had to go pick up.

On my way to the pharmacy I called my job and told them that I would need to be out for the next 2 weeks.  I told them that I had a letter from my doc, but that I would bring it be on the next day as I just wanted to get home.  They said that was fine.

I got my meds and went home.

For the most part I slept the rest of that day and most of the night.  I’ll admit that on the very next day, initially I felt quite refreshed.  I got up, showered, dressed, had some breakfast, and went out to go by my job and take them the letter.  WOW, by the time I got to my job place, I was worn out.  The waking hours that I had known since leaving the docs office the day before was mostly the memory of hearing her words that I had to change what I was doing.  It was quickly becoming real to me what she had said.  Of course, after one day only, I still was not well, but it was like I suddenly came to the realization that what she had told me was in fact truth.  I did not actually stop at my job place I just decided to ride around for a while.

Over and over I considered her words.  I thought about where I was in life, those things that I still wanted to accomplish, how I was sitting financially, basically everything.

I knew that I could not just quit working.  I still had financial obligations.  But I also knew that again, what the doc had told me was truth.  I found a local park.  I stopped and got out and just sat on a bench.  I prayed, I meditated, I thought.  After a while I knew, and I just went back to my pick-up and drove to my job.

I took the letter and went to the GM’s office.  I handed him the letter and then told him that if he had a moment that I needed to talk to him.  He said sure.

I shared with him what the doc had told me.  I even laughed a bit as I told him and I added that she’s always telling me one thing or another and most of the time I could not tell you what she said as soon as the door was closed behind me.  But this time I told him, I knew that she was right.  I told him that I understood that our company does not owe me anything.  I expressed my gratitude for the opportunities that I had been given over the previous years.  But I told him I just could not continue to do what I was doing.  I told him that I now have two grand-daughters and that I would love to hear them say grandpa someday.  I told him that if there was not anything else there available for me that I understood, and he needed to tell me that.  I promised him that I would give him and work a reasonable notice as soon as I could return, but that would be what needed to happen.

Immediately he dismissed that notion and informed me that he had as a matter of fact a position that he wanted to offer me, however, the plant would not be ready for me to take that position until about October 1.  He explained to me what the position would be and asked if I would be interested.  I told him yes.  He then said that between the time that I returned to work and October that my schedule would be adjusted to work a max 10 hour day, but only 4 days per week, and off three consecutive days every week.  I accepted that, and on a hand-shake I left to begin my recovery that I needed at that time so desperately. 

At the end of my two weeks of rest my boss did call me and ask how I was doing.  I told him great.  He asked if I thought I do drive for a full day, if it was solely driving with zero other work. I assured him that I could.  He told me that we had a truck down in Tampa that needed to be picked up and driven back to Atlanta.  He wanted to fly down to Tampa, and then drive the truck back. I agreed to do that on what would have been my last day prior to returning to work.  I did fly down and bobtailed from Tampa to Atlanta.  A good 8-hour drive for me because if I felt tired I would just stop.  It worked out well.

The next day I returned to work.  The first few days were a little rough, but by the time I had worked four and was off three, I was feeling great.  I worked the 4 on / 3 off for about 5 weeks and then went on a planned vacation in Mid-September.

When I returned to work at the end of September everything had been changed and I was now in my new position…  Life is good.

Over the last several months I’ve had to go to the doctor on a few occasions for various reasons, none of them of any serious nature.  The doc has been very pleased with my general improvement, but has been relentless that I had to quit smoking.  Back about 4 months ago she gave me a prescription for Chantix, a stop smoking medication that is supposedly affective in assisting smokers to successfully quit.  I took the script to the pharmacy and asked them to hold it, that I was not sure when or if I wanted it. 

The only real problem that I still seem to have these days is that I get really winded very easily.  Prior to being sick last summer this is not something that I had experienced before.  But recently it just seemed to be getting worse.  The doc had given me an inhaler sort of thing last year that was quite helpful when I was so sick, and I still had that, so I found myself using it more and more.

Recently I realized that I was using the inhaler on a daily basis.  This became real to me when I went to have the prescription refilled.  I knew it was time.

A couple days later, I went and picked up the Chantix.

I read all the material, and I set a date.  I found a “coach” willing to help me, and shared with them what my reasonable goals are.  So I won’t be totally alone in this part of my own journey.

Today I started taking the medication.  My “quit” date will be on Tuesday June 18^th. 

I’m ready. I know it’s time.

To you my friends and followers I ask your prayers and thoughts.  By no means do I consider myself to be in poor health.  But I cannot honestly say that I am in the good health that I would have claimed even 18 months ago.  I don’t know how much things will improve, but I do believe that quitting smoking will improve my overall health as well as just how I feel on a daily basis.

But no matter, I will also never deny…………..

All these years, I enjoyed every one that I smoked.  Non smokers that have never smoked can’t possibly understand that.  Former smokers I suspect know exactly what I mean. 

But it is time.  Of this I am certain.

So I close one chapter in my life, and I start on a new journey.  I’m ready, and I’m excited.  I’ll be checking in just to let you know my progress……… I will win, I am certain.

Until next time………………..

Stand Up

Yep.  It's been a while.  I have not written here in some time, but today anyway, I'm changing that.  I hope to return here much more often.

I posted something on FB earlier today and thought I would somewhat explain myself.  My post on FB was that I was sitting in the waiting room at my Docs office and I was not happy.  I stated that I was in a foul mood, and even that I would rather be at work.  I closed by saying "And that ain't good".

A few months ago I started to have some problem with the medication that I was taking to control my blood pressure.  It is not unusual that if a person takes a maintenence medication daily that sometimes it will cause other problems with what they call liver function.  So Doctors often do monitor your liver function so as to make necessary changes if such a problem arises.  Well, my liver was all outta whack, so my Doc changed my medication.  I had been on the same medication for over 3 years, so it was not a suprise to me that it was time to change. 

As is typical, she gave me a few samples to try first, and a prescription to fill if I had no immediate problems with side effects, etc.  The prescription was of course only for a 30-day supply with no re-fills as she wanted me to come back in after a few weeks, take a quick blood test, and then make the decision whether or not to stay with this new medication or start over with something else.

Fortunately, I did not have any immediate problems with this new medication; no side effects.  So when I went back almost 4 weeks later.  I was happy, she was happy, everyone seemed to be happy with the results.  So she gave me another prescription, this time for a 30-day supply and one re-fill.  As is the normal practice (with my Doc anyway), she wanted me to come back one more time after two months just to make certain that everything was good.

So two months later I'm back again.  Everything looks good.  BP is well controlled.  No side effects.  So she was happy.  I was happy.  Everyone was happy.  She gave me a new prescription, again for a 30-day supply and I noticed only one re-fill.  I questioned her about that.  I said to her "only a two month supply?"  And she responded that she would give me a longer supply after she had done a complete physical.  She said that it had been too long since I had a complete physical, and once I did that she would prescribe a 6-month supply.  To that I said of my favorite things ...... "hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it....." to which she laughed and told me to have a good day.

I scheduled the physical.

A few weeks ago at work I was told that I had to go to a new program being sponsored by our insurance company.  It was a "health screening" where they would take my blood pressure, get my weight, height, and take a blood sample for cholesterold / sugar check.  My immediate response was that I did not care to participate, that my healthcare was something between me and my physician.  I was then told that if I refused to participate that my insurance premiums would be increased by $50 per month.  Being the very opinionated person that I am I commented that blackmail works when almost everything else fails. 

Under what could only be described as vocally against it, I did go to the heatlh screening.  After having walked uphill from one building to another, then up a flight of very steep stairs into the room where the screening was taking place, I was immediately told to remove my jacket so that they could take my blood pressure.  I asked if didn't they think i should be allowed to at least catch my breath before any blood pressure readings were taken.  The "nurse" taking the BP scoffed back at me that it would make no difference, just let her do her job so that I could get back to doing mine. 

I removed my jacket, she took my BP, and immediately informed me that I was "pre-hypertensive" because my BP was 126 / 83.  Being the good old fashioned jerk that I am, I told her that I was not interested in her opinion of my BP, that she should do her job so that I could get back to doing mine.

They got my height and weight, and absolutely tore my arm up getting blood, and I left. 

I considered what had just happened, and just was not happy about it.  I was mad that I had been manipulated into participating in something that not only did I have no desire to particapate in, but had a strong stated objection to particpating in.  And I decided that I would not do it again.  I did tell our General Manager that promoting good and healthy lifestyles did not nor should not include forcing an employee to "voluntarily" particapte in something the he or she objected to. 

A few days later I started to consider my last appointment with my personal physician, and the exchange I had with her regarding the two month supply that she was giving me on my BP medication.  I actually somewhat brewed on that for a couple of days, and thought about it some almost every day after that................

Well, today was the scheduled day for my physical.

So there I was, sitting in the waiting room, just waiting on them to call my name to do something that I had no desire to do simply because I felt like I was being manipulate to do it.  I had already decided on yesterday that before anything was started, that I was going to make known my feelings regarding this physical, and let her know that I did not appreciate the manner in which she manipulated me into scheduling this physical.  So yeah, I was in a foul mood.

I was there.  I had fasted since yesterday about 6 pm.  But I was not happy about being there.

A young lady came to the door and called my name.  I walked to the door and being very kind and gracious as they always are she asked me "how are you today?"  I responded that I was there.  Then she told me to step up onto the scales just on my right.  I did.  Then she instructed me in which direction to walk, to turn left at the corner, and then the second door on the right.  She followed me into the exam room, told me to have a seat.  I went ahead and removed my jacket, and sat down.  She commented to me, "so you are here for a physical today?"  I responded back, "we'll see."  She asked me if I had any current illments, to which I responded nothing physical.  Then she said, " you seem to be somewhat tense, is everything okay?"  I told her that I was fine, but had some concerns that I wished to discuss with the Doc.  Then she said okay, that I should remove my shirt and lay on the exam table so that she could first do an EKG.  This time I told her that I did not want anything done until I had first spoken with the Doc.  Again she asked if there was a problem.  This time I responded to her "I want to discuss it with the Doc."  So she said that if I was refusing to take the EKG, that she needed to put a reason why in my record so that the Doc would know before she comes in.  So I told her, "Okay, fair enough.  Why don't you put in there that I do not want to have any procedure until I have spoken with the Doc."  I very clearly said that I was not refusing anything, but I wanted first to speak with the Doc.  She made no entry, and just left.

A few moments later the Doc came in and asked if there was a problem.  I was honest with her.  I told her yes, to some degree there is a problem.

I pointed out to her that in all the years that I had been coming there it had never been necessary to manipulate me in order to do anything.  I told her that a good read of my medical record just from there would indicate such.  But I told her that I absolutely felt like that she had manipulated me in order to accomplish what she saw as a desired result, and that I didn't appreciate it. 

She asked me if I had scheduled the physical and was there only because she told me that she would write prescriptions for longer refills if I got a physcial.  My answer to her was that yes, that was exactly why that I was there, that she did not give me an "if" scenario, but that she would give me more refills after I had gotten a complete physical.  Then she asked me if I I did not want to get a physical.  I answered honestly.  "No.  Not at this time."   But I also pointed out to her that I fully understand the need for close monitoring of certain things that can only be monitored with blood work, and that if she felt I needed blood work that in fact I was fasting, and that today would be a good day for it, and that I had no objections to her doing any blood work.

She then apologized.

She told me that she never intended to manipulate anything, but she did concede that she understood my feelings, that she herself would probably feel the same way if the roles were reversed.  I accepted her apology.  She didn't tell me that If I had objected a couple months ago that she would have written a longer prescription, but she did write a six month supply today.

I did not have the physical.  I did have blood drawn.

And for those interested, my BP was 121 / 78. 

I know it may sound silly.  But YOU are your greatest advocate.  When you are not comfortable with what is being said to you, if you don't understand, it really is okay to just say "hold on, wait a minute, I don't understand."  I believe it's even okay to ask someone if they are attempting to manipulate you to do something that perhaps you don't wish to do.  But it is up to you to stand up.  Especially when it comes to your healthcare.  Obama may want to control what you do and don't do........but I say screw Obama.  NO one knows you like you know you.  And no one knows me like I know me.

I may be wrong, I may be right.  But it is my choice, my decision. 

I know I need a physical.  And pretty soon, I'll probably get one.  But not now. 

..........Till next time, and I hope much sooner...........

G

Time to Say it

Well I guess eventually I was going to have to comment, so here goes.....

For a couple of weeks now I, like so many of you have for the most part quietly sat back and watched the "Occupy Wallstreet", Occupy Atlanta", or "Occupy Where Ever" groups. Initially I actually sort of applauded them. I was impressed that a group of young Americans was deciding to get engaged in the process that we call our way of life. And then, the more I observered, the more I realized, as Coach Danny Cronic use to say.......that they hadn't seen the ball since kickoff. I have to believe that somebody in that group had some idea of what it is exactly that they are protesting, but over and over having listened to interview after interview, it became sadly obvious that these young people really didn't know. They just know that they are mad, but they're not sure who it is that they are mad it.

They all like to use catch phrases like "the fat cats" on wallstreet; or "them". Who exactly is "them"? When pressed for details, most of them could not give any details.

I believe that I can tell you what it is that they are mad at and about. These kids were raised where everyone that participated got a trophy. They were taught from the earliest childhood there are no loosers nor are they're any winners. In many places throughout the US, team sports don't even exist anymore as those of you that are my age knew team sports. Yes, they have teams, and they play. But they don't keep score. And at the end of the season.......everyone wins first place. They have come to the place where they think that all they have to do is show up and at the end of the day, we will all be rich. They believe it doesn't require any work on their part, only participation.

These sad young people are falling victim to President Barrack Obama and his near continuous assault on people of success and his engaging in simple class warfare. I'm sure all of you are tired of hearing that the rich need to pay their fair share. Well, considering that the bottom 50% of income earners in the US pay zero income taxes collected; and the top 5% of income earners pay almost 80% of income taxes collected that leaves 45% of income earners paying 20% of income taxes collected, then my question is just what is their fair share?

If you listen to the rhectoric of these young people, and you are a student of history at all, you just might recognize that the things that they are saying come directly from The Communist Manifesto; to each as they have need, from each as they have ability. Hard work, preparation, dedication, is not valued any more than mediocrity in the work place. You are expected to give as you have ability, and take only as you have need. A dedicated, hard working employee does not deserve any more than someone that gives minimum required. It was suggested by either Lennon or Stallin one that they would not nor could not ever take the United States by force, but in time they would take the US simply with their ideas. Is this simply prophecy coming to fruition?

Over my last few off days I have watched with some interest various prorams on T.V. What I see and notice more and more are the various hosts with guests that are otherwise young and intelligent. Well, that is until they really start talking. If you listen to these young people it is so obvious that they wish to bless the masses with their infinate wisdom. They speak with apparent authority and suggest things that at best are half baked and ultimately would only contribute to the true demise of this great nation. My thought is this.........they need to sit down, shut up, and learn.

Yes, I am a conservative. And proud of it too. Yes, I listen to talk radio. And maybe you should too. If you do, almost every week, maybe a couple of times each week, someone will call in to any of a number of radio shows. Soon they will tell that they are from Soviet Georgia, Russia, or the old Yugoslavia. And over and over and over, you can hear them speak with pride that they escaped the socialist government of their homeland and finally arrived here in the United States; a place that still stands as a becon of hope for those that wish to pursue dreams of independence and self sufficicency. They will speak with almost fear in their voice as they warn listeners to do everything that they can to avoid what they can so easily see as an onslaught from those that would turn this great nation into what they escaped from.

My friends, it is not too late. This great nation can still be saved. But it will not happen without you. What is required from you is that you, like the uninformed idiots that are the "Occupy" groups, is that you educate yourself, that you engage in the process, and that you hold accountable those that we elect. You start simply by becoming informed.

I would ask you to not believe anything that I say. Hey, just because I say it, does not make it so. But once you have confirmed it, they you will knwo first hand. And, once you know first hand, you are in a much better position to be able to act accordingly to combat those things that are bad for you, bad for us, and bad for the US.

I would not be so bold as to tell you how to vote. But I would be bold enough to suggest that if you truly educate yourself knowing how to vote will become so easy that there will not even be a thought process, you will just know what to do.

I apologize that this post is not one of my normal "feel good" sort of posts. But it can be. If you engage, I promise, you will feel good in the long run with the outcome.

Our future is up to you. And me. And all of us that wish to see this great nation continue on.

"One Nation, under God, Indivisible, with liberty and justice for all"

Until next time..............

Gary